Jokes for all

Feel free to browse the collection of tall tales, yarns and downright lies.   They are all family safe - the test I apply is "would I tell this to someone's grandmother?"  If no,  I don't use it.     (That doesn't mean i don't appreciate a dirty joke,  but I don't think they're appropriate for broadcast on the radio - you never know who is listening or how old they are or  what their attitudes to dirty jokes amounts to. )

Groaners

This would probably qualify to be in the list of the top ten groaners ever sent to the show:

As a young boy, Joe was obsessed with tractors. He had pictures all over his bedroom walls, tractor toys, tractor T-shirts, tractor carpet, duvet cover, the whole works. He ate, drank and slept tractors.

On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a Tractor factory and test drive a brand new tractor. His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends.  The great day came and he went to the factory. Unfortunately Something went wrong with the tractor and it flipped over, breaking his leg. He was so upset and tried to sue the company for negligence. The company would have none of it and told him there was no liability and he could get lost!

You can imagine he was rather upset with tractors and shed them from his life completely. All the posters came down, the toys were given away!  tractors were GONE.

Years later Joe went into a bar. The smoke was terrible and through it he could see a beautiful girl seated at the bar. Tears were streaming down her face from all the smoke getting in her eyes. Joe looked around and then took a huge breath, sucking in all the smoke. He then walked outside and blew it all out again. He goes back into the bar where the air is now clear and sweet and sits down next to the girl. "That was amazing!" she said, "how did you do that?"

"No problem", said Joe, "I'm an ex-tractor fan".

    Next >>