Jokes for all

Feel free to browse the collection of tall tales, yarns and downright lies.   They are all family safe - the test I apply is "would I tell this to someone's grandmother?"  If no,  I don't use it.     (That doesn't mean i don't appreciate a dirty joke,  but I don't think they're appropriate for broadcast on the radio - you never know who is listening or how old they are or  what their attitudes to dirty jokes amounts to. )

King Arthur and the Witch

Young  King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a  neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved  by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his  freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.  Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a  year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The  question?....What do women really want? Such a question would  perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it  seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he  accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.  

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the  princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He  spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory  answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch,  for only she would have the answer. But the price would be  high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the  exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year  arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She  agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her  price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the  most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest  friend!  Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and  hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewerage, made obscene  noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in  all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her  and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the  proposal, spoke with Arthur.  He said nothing was too big of  a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the  Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch  answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants,  she to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone  in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great  truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was,  the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and  the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour  approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience,  entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most  beautiful woman he had ever seen, lay before him on the bed. The  astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty  replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a  witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half  the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which  would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?  

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a  beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the  privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a  hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for  him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments?

What would YOU do?  

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before  you scroll down below. OKAY?


Noble  Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question,  said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.  

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful  all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in  charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this  story?


The  moral is.....

If you don't let a woman  have her own way.... Things  are going to get  ugly.

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