Jokes for all

Feel free to browse the collection of tall tales, yarns and downright lies.   They are all family safe - the test I apply is "would I tell this to someone's grandmother?"  If no,  I don't use it.     (That doesn't mean i don't appreciate a dirty joke,  but I don't think they're appropriate for broadcast on the radio - you never know who is listening or how old they are or  what their attitudes to dirty jokes amounts to. )

Bar

An American on holiday in England, has a Guinness's Stout for the first time in an English pub. Warm, thick, heavy and bitter he can't stand the stuff.  Not believing that anyone could drink, let alone like the stuff, he stands up and calls out, "I'll bet 100 pounds against your 10 that no one here can drink 10 Guinness pints in 5 minutes." 

The English just ignore the absurd, uncultured American and his bet and go back to their conversations. 

One little guy even leaves the bar.  However, a little while later that guy comes back and asks the American in a strong Irish brogue, "Yank, is that bet still on?" 

"Sure."  Replied the grinning American, towering over the small Irishman, thinking the 10 pounds was already as good as his.

So the bartender lines 10 Guinness's up on the bar and the Irishman drinks them all in less than 5 minutes.  (Actually finishing them in less than 3 minutes while taking time out to light a cigarette.)

As the American hands over the money in disbelief, he asks, "Where did you go when you just left?" 

The Irishman answers, "Jasus Yank, I couldn't risk 10 quid, so I went next door to the other pub to see if I could do it first."

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