Jokes for all
Feel free to browse the collection of tall tales, yarns and downright lies. They are all family safe - the test I apply is "would I tell this to someone's grandmother?" If no, I don't use it. (That doesn't mean i don't appreciate a dirty joke, but I don't think they're appropriate for broadcast on the radio - you never know who is listening or how old they are or what their attitudes to dirty jokes amounts to. )
Military
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
The teacher asked, "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a Cobra Gunship pilot in Desert Storm and her helicopter got hit by a stinger missile. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had with her was a flask of whiskey, a .45 pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down as the chopper autorotated toward the ground so the flask wouldn't break and then crash-landed right in front of an enemy patrol. She shot eighteen of them with the pistol until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed four more in hand-to-hand combat with the knife, until the blade broke off in one of their heads. Then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands, gouging out his eyes, then strangling him to death."
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you could come from this horrible story?"
He told me to stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking.
