Jokes for all
Feel free to browse the collection of tall tales, yarns and downright lies. They are all family safe - the test I apply is "would I tell this to someone's grandmother?" If no, I don't use it. (That doesn't mean i don't appreciate a dirty joke, but I don't think they're appropriate for broadcast on the radio - you never know who is listening or how old they are or what their attitudes to dirty jokes amounts to. )
Some Police quotes
- "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
- "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
- "So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
- "Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
- "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
- "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
- "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
- "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
- "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
