An Arkansas farmer decided to give his son an urban education. So he sent the boy to college at UCLA.

Of course, once there, the lad partied a bit too much and, about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he squandered all the money his parents gave him. Then he hit on an idea.

He called his Dad. "Dad", he says, "you won't believe the wonders they're coming up with here! They actually have a program that will teach our dog, Ole Blue, how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!", said his farmer father. " How do I get him into the program?"

The son replies, "Just send him down here with $1,000. I'll get him into the course." So the father sends the dog and the $1, 000.

About 2/3 of the way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

"So, how's Ole Blue doin', son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talkin' up a storm. But you just won't believe this - they've implemented a program to teach the dogs how to READ!"

"READ?" says the father, "No kiddin' ! What do I have to do get him in that program?"

The son says, "Just send $2,500, I'll get him into the reading class." The father sends the money.

The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

The boy says, "Dad, I have some bad news. Tuesday morning, just before we left to drive to Iowa, Ole Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turns to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives down the road in town?"

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

The kid went on to law school.