Jokes for all
Feel free to browse the collection of tall tales, yarns and downright lies. They are all family safe - the test I apply is "would I tell this to someone's grandmother?" If no, I don't use it. (That doesn't mean i don't appreciate a dirty joke, but I don't think they're appropriate for broadcast on the radio - you never know who is listening or how old they are or what their attitudes to dirty jokes amounts to. )
RED SKELTON'S -TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
- Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
- We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Calif. and mine is in Texas.
- I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.
- I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
- We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
- She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
- My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
- She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
- She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"
- Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
- I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
- The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"
