Jokes for all
Feel free to browse the collection of tall tales, yarns and downright lies. They are all family safe - the test I apply is "would I tell this to someone's grandmother?" If no, I don't use it. (That doesn't mean i don't appreciate a dirty joke, but I don't think they're appropriate for broadcast on the radio - you never know who is listening or how old they are or what their attitudes to dirty jokes amounts to. )
Blonde
Words for Women to live by
- Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
- If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.
- Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
- In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
- Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
- When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
- I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
- Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
- Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
- When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
- Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
- Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.
- If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.
- By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.
