A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening.   They   turned on a night light, turned on the phone answering machine,  covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They  phoned the local cab company and requested a  taxi. The taxi arrived  and  the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they  had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

 They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to  eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes  inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.  Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house  will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver that her  husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to  my mother."

 A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab." Sorry I took so  long, " he says as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the  bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!  She  tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck.  Then, I had to wrap  her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I  hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

 The cabdriver hit a parked car